TV Blackmail!
by Salamence and Flygon
Summary: The Naruto characters were selected to a TV talk show! There host? Non other that Salamence and Flygon! Note: Bad spelling and chaotic!
1. Chapter 1

Flygon: Hey there everyone! This is our new-

Salamence: Hey! That's my line!

Fly: Well then, say it now!

Sal: This is our new story! Why we called it this? Because-

Fly: It's for us to know and you to find out!

* * *

"Hello peoples! We are a sort of competion talk show for..." Flygon said and the drum starts rolling..."The Naruto gang!"

"Sup, people! Salamence here and we will give you the rules after the Naruto gang is all here!"

All the Naruto characters came in and sat down in their teams. Then Sasuke asked, "How did I get in this mess..."

"Well, we can't tell you." Flygon said, evily happy with the weird look.

_-FlashBack-_

_Two people dressed in cloaks (not Akatsuki) jump in front of the Fire Country gates. "Finally, we're here." One said. "Yup." The other cloaked dude said._

_They walked in to the village and walked into the Hokage tower. They saw the Hokage and one spoke, "We would like to have the teams of 7, 8, 10, and team Gai."_

_"Why would you want them?" The Hokage asked._

_"We are having a competion and the Sand sibs are coming too." The other one said._

_"Fine." The Godiame said (Flygon: Did I spell that right?), "But you need to give me something in return."_

_"Er...A unlimited supply of sake?" The first one said._

_"Ok." The Hokage said as soon as she heard that._

_"Thank you, please put this as a mission." The other cloaked guest said._

_-End Flashback-_

"Well this is a mission, So you guys should get packed." Flygon said.

"These are the rules." Salamence said, then took out a piece of paper. The TV screen turn on and it had the rules on it.

"The rules are:" Flygon said, "Number one, do not kill anyone-"

All eyes turn on Gaara. Gaara looked around and asked, "What?"

"-Two, don't kill us, we have something from the Hokage...-"

All eyes turn on Gaara again. Gaara glares and asked again, "What?"

"-Three, don't break out of here, something bad will come-"

Audience stare at all characters. Especially Gaara and Shino.

Shino said, "..."

Gaara gave a death glare to everyone.

"-Four, always follow intructions-"

All eyes to Kiba and Naruto.

"Five, play fairly! Six, no cheating-"

"Isn't that basicly the same thing?" Sakura asked.

"We make the rules, you follow. So shut up, _lady_." Salamence said.

"-seven, you are disqallified if you don't follow what you are told to do. Eight, pack for a week or a month."

"9 and 10, you are all idiots." Flygon finished, then Salamence wispered somthing in her ear, "Er...I mean, you never heard that..."

"Everyone, go home today and pack for tommorrow. And remember this is a team competion, if you don't come you lose the game." Salamence said, "Also, you won't get payed..." (She wispered that)

-Tomorrow -

"Hello everone, glad to see you are all here." Flygon said.

"Today, we do an interview, so tell the truth! Then do this survey." Salamence said and took out a stack of papers.

"First up, Uzumaki Naruto!" Flygon said and took the others out of the stage.

"What are your dreams?" Flygon said and gave him some papers.

"Duh, to be Hokage!" Naruto said, but then Flygon gave him the paper to read, "Oh, it says "to be a ballerina dancing star".

Audience laughes.

"What? I read it!" Naruto shouted.

"Trick question: Who are you going to marry?" Flygon asked.

"Sakura. Oh, wait, the paper says to say "Sasuke"." He said.

Audience laughs again.

"What?" He asked again.

"Oh, nothing, nothing." Salamence said.

"Hey, it's my turn!" Flygon said.

"Fine." Said Salamence.

"What is your personality?" She asked Naruto.

"Uh...nice?" He said, unsurely, "Wait, oh...uh...hm...WEAK BABY! Okay! Who wrote this (bleep)! (Note: Salamence wrote this)

"Uh...She did!" Salamence and Flygon both said at the same time.

"Uh...Wait! Our producer,Bob, wrote,I quote,"This (bleep)." Salamence said.

All of a sudden, Naruto ran off saying, "Must kill PRODUCER!".

-Three minutes later-

"I can't find that (bleep)ing producer! (bleep) (bleep) (bleep)!" Naruto cussed like, a million times. The adults in the audience covered their kids ears. Kiba covers Hinata's and Akamaru's ears. (0.o How'd he do that?) (Flygon wrote this) Tenten fell asleep. ( d: )

"Please Salamence." Flygon said.

Salamence pulled this rope and a hole opened on the ground, Naruto (still cursing) fell in a sound proof room.

"Er...Next, Sasuke?" Flygon read the list.

"Is your middle name "Earl"?" Flygon asked him.

Salamence gave her a weird look.

"What?" Flygon asked.

"No." He said.

"Ok...do you like the color...green?"

"No."

"Tomatoes?"

"Ye--No."

"Fine." Flygon said, and held a basket of tomatoes (Where'd she get that, I have no clue...o.0).

"Do you like Li Shaoran from Card Captors?"

"WTF?" He said and gave a weird look.

"Ok...Do you like his clothes?"

"No."

"But I do." Flygon said.

"So? I don't (bleep)ing care."

"Ok...o.0...Salmence take him out, he is done..." Flygon said and Salamence took him away.

"Ok...Sakura? Who do you like to marry?" Flygon asked and handed her a piece of paper. (d:)

"Sasuke-kun, of course!" She replied.

"Ahem...read the paper..." Flygon told her.

"Er...ok...Lee." Saku said, unsurely.

"Yay, Sakura-san likes me and wants to marry me!" Lee shouted and hugged Neji, which almost died from it.

"...What do you think of yourself?"

"I'm pretty! No...beautiful!"

"Yeah! Sakura-san is!" (you know who said that)

"Read the paper." Flygon demanded.

"Um...an ugly hag? WHO WROTE THAT?"

"You got that right!" Ino laughed.

"Uh...it was Bob?" Flygon asked.

-Somewhere-

"AAAAAACHOOOO! Hmm...some nice girl must be talking about me." Bob said as he continued writting.

-Back-

"Ok...Salamence?" Flygon asked.

"Ok!" Salamence said and pulled the rope...again.

"Er...I think that we should stop...we should do team 10 next week...But this week it's all about team 7! Tommorrow, their life when it's a normal day!" Flygon said.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

TV Blackmail.

* * *

Sorry we haven't been updating, Flygon was trying to update other stuff and Salamence has 50 pounds of homework...coughstupidteachercough...

* * *

"Hello-doodle everyone! It's me, Flygon (I can't tell you my other name, so we go with pokemon)! Hope you guy's had a nice sleep!" 

"Ahem." Coughed a certain red-head.

"Er...rest..." Flygon said.

"What do we do?" Lee enthusiacticly said.

"We go see what Team 7 does everyday!" Salamence said.

"Yeah!" The crowd yelled (the people watching).

"Let's start with the adorable Naruto!" Flygon shouted.

"Uh...Adorable?" Ino said.

"cough...cough..." Flygon cough-ed, blushing, "Pretend you didn't hear that..."

-----Naruto's House...er...Apartment--

"Over here is the place." Flygon said.

(just to let you know, there are watching over a TV screen in the studeo or Naruto might act differently. Only S and F are going)

"Do you hear that?" Salamence asked Flygon.

"What?"

A small humming somewhere.

"I hear it! What is it?"

"I dunno."

"It's coming from over here."

"Ok, let's check this out."

-Other side, the people watching-

'I should tell them that is Naruto's bathroom, but who cares...' Kakashi thought while reading that book of his (who knows, it could be a normal NON-perverted book).

-Bathroom-

"La, la, la..." Naruto sang as he was bathing (o.O).

Suddenly he heard a loud knock on the door.

"Huh? What's the sound? Must be a bird...(WTF? A bird? NARUTO!!!)" Naruto said re-assuring himself.

"THREE!!" Suddenly Salamence and Flygon bursted through his door.

A moment of silence.

Another moment of silence.

Ano --

"AHHHHHHHH!"

-other side of the world-

"Wut was that?" A guy said.

"Must be someone busting through a door and saw someone bathing..."

-Bathroom XDDD-

"AHHHHHH! WTF are you doing?" Naruto (that's right) screamed.

"We said we will flim you where ever go. So we are fliming you bathing." Flygon said as if it was the most obvilous thing in the world.

"B-but I'm bathing!" Naruto shouted and pulled the drape closer to his...er...private spot...

-other side TV-

Thump!

"Hinata! What's wrong?"

"N-naruto-kun...was n-naked..."-faints-

"Hinata!!!! Nooooo!" Kiba shouted.

"I don't ever want to see that...ever..." Sakura said.

"Acually, he looks hot." Tenten said.

0.o

"What? I just think that..."

"I told you! He has a small penis!" Sai said.

"Ok...o.O" Sakura scooted away.

* * *

TBC...

Flygon: XDDDD I'm soooo evil! (Yes, it is I, Flygon, who wrote this chapter!!! MWHAHAHAH)

Salamence: She drank 2 bottles of coffee...forgive her...and review, please.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry about not updating. It took a whole year to update. WTF! Yeah. Sorry about that….. Anyway, Latios, our new partner, will be introduced soon. Soon, my pretty, soon. Uh, yeah. YOU HEARD NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  


"I know this going to sound so wrong, but Sai's right." Kankuro said.

"What the hell are you talking about Kankuro? His penis is so normal size." Temari said.

-----Back with Salamence and Flygon-----

"Are you going to leave?" Naruto asked.

"Why would we do that?" Flygon responded.

"Yeah. You signed the contract not us." Salamence answered.

"You didn't give us a contract!!"

"Oh. Whatever. We'll leave you alone so you can get dressed."

-Other side TV.-

"Awwwww." Hinata whined.

"Oh, Hinata. You've become such a perv." Kiba complained.

-Back. (After Naruto's dressed.)-

"For the love of crap! When will you stop watching _really, really_ crappy Cartoon Network re-runs?" Salamence asked.

----At the Cartoon Network TV station in the manager's office----

"Lackie!!! Get in here!"

"Yes boss!"

"I'm feeling a viewer disturbance!"

­-Back (again)-

"I'll stop watching when you go away!"

"Fine! We'll film Sasuke!"

Salamence walked off toward the producer and got handed a note.

"Uh. We've got a problem. Sasuke left a note saying, "Dear Idiots and Dobe, I am on a plane to America. I refuse to ever come back. Go rot in a sack. Hatefully, Sasuke." Salamence said.

------On the plane (live footage everyone could see) ------

"They'll never guess that my plane is going in circles over Konoha. Mwahaha!!!" Sasuke shouted.

"Uh, excuse me. You ordered the fish?" asked the flight attendant.

"No I didn't ma'am."

"Yes you did." she said and slapped him with a dead fish.

-----Back (again, again) -----

"Ok. We all just saw that live footage. And here they are! Our new partner Latios and an unconscious Sasuke!" Flygon said.

-Other side TV-

"Wow! Latios is so awesome!" Lee said.

"No she's not! She hurt my poor Sasuke-kun!" Sakura and Ino both said at the same time.

"Oh shut up bs." said Itachi and sent weasels to attack them, kidnap them, and poke them with spears! XD (They're trained to torture.)

-Back (again, again, again)-

"Uh, Flygon. We're out of time." Salamence said.

"Oh. Okay! Next time we'll see Sasuke's daily life, what happens to Ino and Sakura, and have more about Latios. See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!

"FLYGON! Don't say that to our viewers!"

"Fine! See ya next time!"


	4. Chapter 4

Hi!. Last chapter, when Itachi said bs, well I'll say later. Sorry. . I'm really sorry. If me give youchocolate, will you forgive me? Oh, I ate it. Heh. Read this. NOW!! After...REVIEW! PLEASE! Sorry if I act to evil. I don't mean to. Kanta, my demon, takes over me a little. Sorry.  


"Where the hell am I?!" Sasuke shouted.

"Uh you're at your hotel." said two strangely nice voices.

"What?! Wait. It's not my turn yet is it?"

"You're right on the nose." Salamence said with a grin.

"Uh… okay. I'm only doing this because I know Itachi is watching and I want to show him I hate him like hell. I start my day by staring at my Itachi plushie and sticking kunai in it. Like this."

-Other side TV-

"Wow. So that's why you've been waking up with pains in the morning." Deidara said as he walked in the room.

"Uh……why and how'd you Atkatsuki get here?" Naruto asked as the rest of the Atkatsuki came in, well except for the boss.

"We're here because the boss had no missions for us and we wanted to see you get embarrassed live. We got here by riding the bs. I let them out….temporarily." Itachi said smartly.

-Back-

Someone knocked at the door. Flygon went to get it and 2 of Itachi's weasels burst in.

"We're here…" One weasel said. "To help." The other finished.

"WTF? Here to help me. You're his bitc-, I mean his minions." Sasuke said.

"Uh. You shouldn't tell him anything. _Seriously._"

"What? Hmmm. Whatever." Flygon said waking up. "Sorry. I was awake all night……playing video games."

"Let's go! G.I. JOE!" Sasuke shouted.

-Back other side TV-

"Sasuke's coming." Itachi said calmly. All of a sudden Salamence and Flygon ran into the room shouting "Run for your freaking LIVES!" and Sasuke ran in throwing the weasels at Itachi.

"OH CRAP! OW! OW! OW!" Sakura and Ino shouted as the weasels used him as a scratching post. Itachi had poofed out of the way and the weasels had hit them.

"Two things. How'd you bs get out. And why'd you, my freakin' brother, try to beat me? That's just like being a brainless freak."

"Whatever. Just wait. I'll get you when you least expect it. Like maybe tomorrow or ……NOW!" Sasuke said and threw Sakura and Ino at him.

"Missed me" he said all knowingly as Ino and Sakura hit the ceiling while he hung above Sasuke with a slight smirk and.

After about an hour and a half of Sasuke and Itachi fighting, well, Itachi was just dodging everything with a Kool-Aid in his hand they finally got Sasuke home.

-Back-

"Die Itachi!" Sasuke said as he jumped out of his bed using Chidori almost hitting Flygon.

"Uh, you're home." Salamence said.

"Oh. Crap. Why the hell did you take me here?"

"Because you were asleep on the floor. Well, I guess we'll observe you. Wait, what are you doing?"

"Writing in my diary."

"Oh. Can we read it?"

"No." Then for about half an hour Sasuke and Salamence argue about the Constitution of Konoha, but since that's so boring we'll take you ……

-Back other side TV-

"So, Itachi. What did you mean by bs?" Sakura asked.

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Deidara said. "FLASH BACK! Turn on the TV."

Sakura did and they saw the flash back.

-Flash back-

_Atkatsuki's kitchen_

"Hey, Itachi. Let's have a tongue twister contest." Deidara said.

"Okay." Itachi replied.

"The tongue twister is 'Shelly sells sea shells by the sea shore'. Got it? Go!"

"Shelly sells sea shells by the sea shore." They both said about fifteen times. Then Itachi messed up.

"You cheated!" Itachi shouted. He was right. The whole time Deidara was mouthing the words and using a tape that had the twister on it. He'd gotten the recording from when he'd done the same twister with Kisame.

"Nu uh! You just screwed up. SCREW UP!"

-Back-

"So now Itachi is saying everything in short forms. And bs means -b word- sisters." Deidara explained.

"Thanks a lot…………CHEATER!"

"SCREW UP!"

"CHEATER!"

"SCREW UP!"

"CHEATER!"

"SCREW UP!"

"SHUT UP!" Sakura yelled. "Sasuke's asleep and they're reading his diary!"

-Back-

"Dear Ami, (Ami is Japanese for friend.)

Today I took the pill and died to have myself be in the 2nd stage of the Orochimaru's curse seal. Then that ass Naruto almost screwed everything up. But I beat the crap out of him and ran. It was really fun. You're my best friend. :3 Sasuke." Flygon read.

"What in hell's name? You knocked me out and read my diary?! I'll kill you!"

"That'll have to wait. We're out of time." Flygon said.

"You! Time! –F word-!"

"Just wait!" Salamence shouted at him.

"CRAP YOUUUU!" Sasuke screamed while flailing his arms and legs.

"HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!" Salamence shouted

Sorry if that sucked. I was a little confused about what to write. By the way check our profile and our news to see what's up with us and stuff. Also………..REVIEW OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get it. Got it. GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry if I was too evil. Me is really sorry. Forgive me?  



End file.
